being a teen mom Archives

Shops We Love March 18, 2016

My Thoughts on Teen Pregnancy

Earlier today, I witnessed adult bullying of a soon to be Teen Mom, on one of my Facebook groups.

I am usually the one to scroll through all these heated conversations and just make my own mental opinion and move on. I don’t like wasting my time convincing other people to agree with my personal opinion.This one, however, hit home.

The comments were awful and degrading. The worst part? They came from other moms. It is SO true, that we are living in a world full of internet trolls. The people who sit behind a computer and bash on others because it makes THEMSELVES feel better. I have had enough of it.

I am fully aware that the stigma behind Teen Pregnancy is negative one. Why shouldn’t it be? What the public sees is what ever the media or press puts out there for them to see – which is mostly negative. Now, don’t get it twisted, I am not advocating Teen Pregnancy, no, no, not at all. What I am advocating is letting those Teen girls that do decide “to go through” with the pregnancy a voice and a chance.

A voice to tell their stories, because I bet you that each of them has a different one to tell. A chance, to get ahead. Don’t put all of us in a corner because it makes it easier for society to deal with it.

Have you ever taken the time to actually listen instead of judge?

I am so passionate about this because I was a Teen Mom. I’ve been through it. I lived it. I STILL get stares and comments from strangers because they think I’m the babysitter, until they hear Jayden call me “mommy”.

How sad is that?

That even at 24 years old, after graduating High School, after graduating College, after owning my first car, after everything I have accomplished since giving birth to Jayden at 16, I still can’t seem to get away from the negative Teen Mom Stigma.

One thing I ask from my readers to support me on my vision to make a community of women of empowerment and inspiration, no matter the age.

Motherhood September 30, 2015

5 questions I have been asked about being a Teen Mom

Over the past 8 years I’ve transitioned from being a teen mom, to a young mom, to just mom. I’ve always felt that society has categorized me of my mom status based on my age and it got me thinking about all the questions I’ve encountered since becoming a teen mom. Some of the questions are just uncalled for and I don’t know why people think that it is ok to ask them! Nonetheless, I decided to share the most repeated ones!

NUMBER 1.

Q: What did your mom say when you told her that you were pregnant?

A: hmmm.. let me think.. my mom didn’t say much, it was more of how she reacted that stuck in my brain. She was VERY upset. She cried, I cried, we cried together. She knew how hard it was going to be for me for the next few years. One thing is for sure is that she never left my side. I Love you mom! [hehe]

NUMBER 2.

Q: Where you scared?

A: Of course! I was scared for what was to come, the unknown territory. Scared of what the kids at school would say about me. Scared of what society would think of me. Scared of not finishing school. Scared of not being able to take care of Jayden properly. Just scared.

NUMBER 3.

Q: What made you “keep” the baby?

A: Well, first, I’m not going to lie and say that, at the time, that abortion never crossed my mind. I was 15 for heavens sake! Once I told my mom that I was pregnant, she insisted that I face the consequence of my actions. Her words “If I wanted to act like an adult then I would need to deal with the consequences like an adult”. Some of you may have think that was the deciding factor that changed the rest of my life, but to be honest, I didn’t want to have an abortion, something inside told me it wasn’t the right path for me.

NUMBER 4.

Q: How did it feel to be a teen mom?

A: I think this may be my favourite question because when you are living the life of a teen mom, you don’t really notice how you feel. You are basically shot into adulthood and you just…do it. [Nike reference anyone?] Of course, being a teen mom isn’t easy, definitely not ! and can I just touch on this quickly…since I am talking about teen pregnancy… What you see on MTVs Teen MOM is NOT a great representation. I can write a blog post about my Pro’s and Con’s on that show later… It is hard to use a particular “feeling”. I felt so many different feelings, happy, sad, nervous, excited, scared.. I literally could go on for a while.
Last, but certainly not least,

NUMBER 5.

Q: If you could, would you change anything?

A: Simple and easy no. I’ll tell you why, because I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. God doesn’t give you anything you can’t handle. As I think back, I wonder how my life would be if Jayden wasn’t in it. and It gives me the chills thinking about the possibilities. I was meant to be his mom, and he was meant to be my son.

Could you imagine answering the same questions over and over for 8 years?! AND the questions haven’t stopped. Once people figure out that I was a teen mom, I can see their minds running for either A) try to figure out what to say that won’t offend me OR B) They are so shocked that they just word vomit and just dig themselves into a hole. It is quite humorous to me..I have to find some Joy in it all right?

I strongly believe that I need to make my community aware about the truths of teen pregnancy. I will be following up with a post of “Questions not to ask a Teen Mom” super soon! Stay tuned and thanks for reading.

xoxo,

Heydy

Motherhood April 11, 2015

Teen mom OG

Hey guys!!
First off, thank you to all the people who took the time to read my “20 Facts” post! I received incredible feed back 😀
This post is a little bit more serious… I decided to write about my experience as a Teen mom.
Many of you reading know…or found out by reading my last post that my oldest son, Jayden Ray, was born when I was 16 years old… automatically classifying me as a quote on quote “Teen mom”.
I want to be honest with you all, I had such a hard time trying to figure out how I would write going forward. but I decided to just write my posts the way I would talk to my family and friends. I don’t want to put up a front on my blog because that’s not me. ANYWHO, I will stop rambling now…. 😉
I’ve always wanted to share my story..when I was 15 years old, I found out what I was pregnant with Jayden…I still remember the day like it was yesterday. I couldn’t believe it. I was SO scared.. especially to tell my mom. She worked so hard to try to avoid this. She WAS NOT happy at all to say the least. But she stuck by me and said “Heydy, you want to act like an adult, you have to deal with consequences”. So I did just that. I went through my pregnancy and did all the necessary steps to be successful. I was SO adamant that I was not going to be a statistic.
So I enrolled into the Young Parent Program that is offered here in Vancouver. If you are wondering what that is.. It is a program to help “Young Parents” who are pregnant, have a newborn, toddler, or child, complete high school. It is actually an amazing program and if it wasn’t for that program I don’t know where I would be right now.
Dragging myself out of bed every morning, with little to no sleep, to go to school was difficult. Especially, knowing that I had to commute 45 mins, on a bus & train, with a baby, to get to there . BUT, I did it, every school day for two years (unless my mom was feeling nice and drove me :P). You never really know what your capable of until you have no other choice.
Well, I’m lucky that I did drag myself out of bed, because I was able to get a scholarship to go to college. Which, coming from a low-income family, was a huge deal.
I graduated from high school in June 2009 and I knew if I didn’t go to college right away, I wouldn’t want to go in the future. So, I decided to take the Legal Administrative Assistant program and started that in September 2009. I was also able to manage to work P/T on the weekends so I had money to support myself.
I really didn’t want to go on welfare…so this was my life for 5 years, going to school and working. I hated the fact that I had to put Jay in daycare since birth. It hurts me to think I missed out on some of his milestones.
I managed to get a job as a LAA 6 months after I graduated from college in Feb 2011, and while I was looking for a LAA position I worked as a sales associate at one of the malls in Vancouver.

FINALLY! the day came that I was able to support myself and Jayden (that took a while) and I got a position as a LAA. All my hard work had paid off. I LOVE that I decided to go school, and I really want to go back to school to become a Paralegal.
I could go on and on, but I won’t because Abel is getting up. If you are wondering, I did go through a lot of trial and tribulations. I’ve moved countless of times, I worked so many different jobs, I went through a major break-up with Jayden’s dad causing many times in the courtroom. I’ve gotten plenty of stares from strangers, called names, and been told that I made a mistake keeping Jayden. I kept my head held high and of course I wanted to give up, but it just wasn’t an option for me.
IT WAS ALL WORTH IT & I would not take anything back.

Jayden will be turning 8 this September and it brings tears to my eyes thinking of everything we had to go through together. He made me who I am today. I believe that God sent Jayden to me at the right time and I’m so glad he did because I was headed down the wrong path.

I really want my experience as a teen mom to be heard so that any other young mom who is currently going through what I went through, knows, that it is NOT impossible to be successful, you just have to work EXTRA hard for it. I may not be rich with money, but I am rich with so many other things.

I wouldn’t be here without the support of my family and friends. They constantly encouraged me to move forward and to never give up. Because, in the end, after all my struggles and hardships as a teen mom, I am HAPPY with my life. I mean isn’t that the ultimate goal ?Thank you to all for reading and if you would like to ask me any question feel free to do so!
If you know a young/teen mom, lift them up, empower them, encourage them. If you are a teen/young mom then keep going because all the hardships are worth the rewards.
Lots of Love,
Heydy xoxo